I have so many choices to make.
And if I choose the wrong one I feel like a fake.
I now have to make up my mind.
I just want a little more time.
I know it is better to be two steps forward,
But it feels like I’m being strangled with a cord.
I just want to live today.
Tomorrow will work out okay.
I’m tired of being ahead,
But not a word have I said.
Choices are made for me,
Some of them I never get the chance to see.
I am always thrown around,
And feel like I’m continuously bound.
I try to take it one step at a time,
Meanwhile a thousand other things get thrown in my mind.
I thought I had a plan,
But it seems as though I’ve written it in the sand.
My dreams are becoming nightmares.
And my life is just so bare.
I want to make my own life,
To be haggard by my own strife.
I know they want the best of me,
But I just want to be free.
I know I have to become an adult,
But I just want to find my own faults.
I can’t learn from everyone else’s mistakes.
My life isn’t going to be a piece of cake.
I want to use my own mind,
I’ll show them what I find.
Life isn’t like Burger King; you can’t have it your way.
But to some it just doesn’t seem okay.
I just want to be a kid,
Let me tell them what I did.
1 comment:
You're right, you can't "have it your way" in life. There's too much out of our control (and sometimes, seemingly, out of God's control.) The first truth the Buddha taught is that "life is suffering." I'm not sure that life *is* suffering, but there's a lot of suffering in life, and it's spread out pretty unequally from where I sit (e.g., a teenage poet dealing with all that your poetry suggests you're dealing with seems wrong to me, but there it is: pain as plain as the words on the screen...) I don't know anything about the big choices you face, and my own track record on making decisions is abyssmal, but a couple things seem right to me: (1) Don't make big decisions without consulting with those whose wisdom you respect and/or whose love you trust (that may be a very small number of people, it would be for me), but (2) don't be afraid to ignore their advice. In the end you make your decisions, and you live with them. But, like Feather said a few days ago, any decision made with God in mind is a right decision (or something to that effect.) There are not always wrong decisions as there are wrong reasons for deciding a particular path. If you set out to honor God, He will honor your decision (unless you're deciding to rid the world of racoons, then I guess He might set Himself against you! ;-) Keep believing, keep praying, find the flickering flame of hope during the dark night's storm, and stay in touch with people who care. I'll keep praying for, Lady Poet, that God will give you some serious peace and knowledge of His presence.
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