MY-SPACE

You act like nothing can go wrong.
So I try to remain strong.
I know it hurts when I walk away,
But please know that I am okay.
Don’t call me back into your arms right now.
I need to go somewhere where there is no sound.
I need some space to call my own.
Somewhere I can throw away the bad stones.
I know you want to keep me by your side.
But right now I just need my time.
Don’t be mad because I leave,
Have faith in me.
I will be back one day.
In the meantime I’ll let you know that I’m okay.
I need to find a place where I can make my own choice.
I need to find a place where I can hear my own voice.
You have already made so many decisions for me.
Why can’t you just let me be?
I want to make my own mistakes.
One day I will look back and say it was a piece of cake.
I know you’re standing right there,
And I know that you care.
Don’t worry about how things will turn out.
God is there and He’s what it is all about.
I want to be able to live my own life.
Don’t put me through any unnecessary strife.
Let me grow into the person you raised me to be.
Let me grow to show everyone the real me.
I’m not a child any longer,
And my heart has grown stronger.
I can handle the things that come my way.
Just let me go; I promise to come back someday.

So Many Choices

I have so many choices to make.
And if I choose the wrong one I feel like a fake.
I now have to make up my mind.
I just want a little more time.
I know it is better to be two steps forward,
But it feels like I’m being strangled with a cord.
I just want to live today.
Tomorrow will work out okay.
I’m tired of being ahead,
But not a word have I said.
Choices are made for me,
Some of them I never get the chance to see.
I am always thrown around,
And feel like I’m continuously bound.
I try to take it one step at a time,
Meanwhile a thousand other things get thrown in my mind.
I thought I had a plan,
But it seems as though I’ve written it in the sand.
My dreams are becoming nightmares.
And my life is just so bare.
I want to make my own life,
To be haggard by my own strife.
I know they want the best of me,
But I just want to be free.
I know I have to become an adult,
But I just want to find my own faults.
I can’t learn from everyone else’s mistakes.
My life isn’t going to be a piece of cake.
I want to use my own mind,
I’ll show them what I find.
Life isn’t like Burger King; you can’t have it your way.
But to some it just doesn’t seem okay.
I just want to be a kid,
Let me tell them what I did.

Trapped

So many tears have I cried.

So many times I wished I could have died.

You look in my eyes all the time.

Can’t you tell that I’m not fine?

I wish you would let me talk,

Because I’m getting ready to walk.

I’m getting ready to leave,

Because you don’t want to believe.

I can make my own choice.

But for some reason you don’t hear my voice.

I’m screaming for a way out.

I’ve wanted to run away so many times I can hardly keep count.

I don’t want to go,

But I’ve got to let you know.

I want to live my life

But you’re holding me down with a knife.

I need to be me.

Can’t you see?

I feel like a robot.

Trapped always in the same spot.

Can’t you let me spread my wings and fly?

If not, then why do you cry?

I am practically your slave.

And you’ve trapped me in a maze.

Just free me now

Before I lay my burdens down.

My Bunny

I remember before you left home I gave you my bunny.
You still have it and I think its kind of funny.
I know that may sound weird,
But I believed you didn’t care.
I know you still have it propped on you bed.
It sleeps right there by your head.
Why didn’t you get ride of that silly thing?
Seeing it makes my heart sting.
It smells like you now.
If you gave it back I would have a cow.
I placed it in your suitcase before you went away.
I hope that was okay.
I told him to take good care of you.
I didn’t know what else to do.
You were leaving and never coming back.
I never believed you would do that.
I know you have more important things on your mind.
I just can’t believe you took the time.
Sometimes you would call home,
And I didn’t want to get off of the phone.
I was you little baby girl.
Your only one in the whole world.
You finally came back one day,
But you never really stayed.
You moved far away from the house.
My mom was no longer your spouse.
When you were gone you found someone new.
I guess you do what you have to do.
I just don’t know why you kept my bunny.
Isn’t life just funny?

CROSS-ROADS

I have some decisions to make,
And I don’t know which road to take.
I’ve called out to God and asked Him what to do.
For some reason I’m not getting a clue.
Missionary work or family?
I wish He would help me see.
I know what I want to accomplish,
But I know there is something I have missed.
I have to go home.
For some reason this is what my heart knows.
God has my life.
So why am I going through this strife?
My friends are awaiting my reply.
My only question is will I cry?
I have been preparing for many weeks.
Is it that my heart is too weak?
I don’t know why I can’t go.
Maybe it’s for reasons my heart doesn’t know.
I need God to answer me this time.
Is it time for my heart to fly?

Away From Home

I’m so far away from home.
I don’t know which way to go.
I’M lost without a clue.
I don’t know what to do.
I call out but no one can hear.
The end is near.
Soon I will be home again.
Soon I’ll see my best friends.
But there are things I have to do
So don’t cry boo-Hoo!!
I’ll be back again someday
Just remember I am okay.
He called me to do some things.
So right now my life song sings.
I’m scared of how my life will change.
I know that sounds deranged.
But I’m lifting up my hands to the sky
In the hopes that He will help me fly.

Please Let Me

Let me have one more day.
I promise I’ll try to make everything okay.
Let me tell you I love you one more time.
I promise I’ll be fine.
Let me see your face again.
I promise to stand by you through the end.
Let me hold your hand.
I promise to be as strong as I can.
Let me know you still are there.
I promise to tell you how much I care.
Let me see you as I sleep.
I promise I won’t weep.
Let me have one more hour.
I promise my heart won’t be sour.
Let me hear one more song.
I promise to stay strong.
Let me know you’re okay.
I promise not to keep my feelings tucked away.
Let me hear your voice one more time.
I promise I won’t cry.
I need to see you one more day.
Then I will be okay.

Questions you often ask.

How do you know when to choose a friend over another?
Is it some kind of instinct like being a mother?
There is a fight that broke out between your friends.
So how do you know what road of friendship ends?
You want to talk for there are things on your mind.
But lately you can’t find the time.
You don’t know weather you’re right or wrong
So how do you know if for you there is a special song.
You try to cope on your own
But you know that is not the way a heart gets sewn.
You have so many things to say
But everything else gets in the way.
Wanting to talk about more than one thing
You no longer care to sing.
Wanting to speak what’s on your mind
But telling everyone that everything’s fine.
You try to hide from people you know
Because if they found out some stuff they would blow.
You’re scared half to death,
And your life seems like a mess.
You think about your friends
And sometimes wonder why your life won’t end.
Knowing you have to stay
Is now starting to become okay.
Some days are filled with hate
And others you are used as bait.
Some days are filled with love
And you know that comes from the heavens above.
There is someone special in your life
Who seems to take away most of your strife.
You need to learn to spread your wings and fly
So go ahead and tell those you love not to cry.
It is time for you to live your life
Without using a knife.
Just dream and believe.
Soon enough you will achieve.
Don’t listen to what everyone is saying.
Just follow your dreams they are waiting.

I say I don’t have a dad.
Is he really that bad?
What if I give him the time of day?
Would everything turn out okay?
The bible says to honor your mother and father.
But what if he does not acknowledge his daughter?
Love your enemies as well.
Isn’t life swell?
How do you expect me to love them when they hurt me?
Why can’t I just let them be?

He's There

He’s There!
Wings help you fly,
But eyes can help you cry.
This pain will eventually go away.
You just have to pray everyday.
You have to believe
Then someday your heart will find relief.
He seems so far gone,
But you have to keep singing your life song.
The days that go by feel like dreams,
And you ask yourself ‘What does this mean?’
Life seems to be becoming so hard,
It feels as though you’re trapped and barred.
You can hardly fly,
So sometimes you just wish you could die.
Just hang in there,
Somebody near you really cares.
Try to pull through one more day,
You may realize everything will be okay.
You can call on Him at any time,
He is able to make everything fine.
There are people in your life that are there to help you out,
You just need to shout.
Call on your best friend,
Don’t let your life end.
Somehow He will see you through,
But you have the choice to choose.
Get some help right now,
Before you put your life down.
Call on someone you love today,
And tell them you’re not okay.
You don’t have to say many words,
Just tell them that you hurt.
Go ahead, you have someone there,
And one day you will realize how much He really cares.

Coping

Coping
Cutting the pain away,
Not knowing the words to say.
I can’t tell you what’s wrong with me.
I just want to be free.
So tired of the pain
It’s driving me insane.
Rocking away the tears
They’ve been here all these years.
I can tell you that they’re full of hate.
I don’t want to take that with me when I meet my fate.
There is something I need to do
But how do I choose?
Talking away the pain
But everything feels the same.
It helped me some,
But I know I’m not done.
There are more thing I have to do
But I just don’t know how to.
I need to be strong,
So that the pain won’t stay long.

The Last Dance

The Last Dance!
Should I give him another chance?
Should I allow him the last dance?
He let me down so many times before,
Especially after he walked out of the door.
I disowned him so many times.
Our relationship isn’t fine.
I hate the way he treated me.
He wouldn’t let me be.
I gave him another try,
But in the end I just cried.
I began not to trust him.
I didn’t care if he was kin.
Should I give him another chance?
Should I allow him the last dance?
I tried not to get involved,
But the problems were to hard to solve.
I asked Jesus to help me out,
And to tell me what my life was about.
I gave Him my life,
And He walked me through many strife.
I told Him I was in trouble,
And He was there on the double.
The bible says He is my Dad,
Then why do I feel so bad.
Should I give him another chance?
Should I allow him the last dance?
He helped bring me into this world,
But some days it makes me want to hurl.
How can I forgive him for how he made me feel?
The pain is so real.
How can I pull through?
What will I do?
Will I allow him another chance?
Will he be the one who has the last dance?

So Far Gone

There’s so much going on
My thoughts are so far gone.
I’m sitting here in the middle of class,
I don’t understand and I’m not going to ask.
People aren’t who they say
And nothing turns out okay.
Why do I wear a mask?
Why don’t I answer the questions my friends ask?
So many thoughts running through my head.
I’m so far gone; I wish I was dead.
Your friends tell you they’ll be there,
But when you talk they don’t seem to care.
People hide behind a wall,
And they’re never there when you call.
I cry out in the middle of the night,
And there’s not a friend in sight.
My friends don’t see how far gone I am.
Maybe it’s because I got caught up in sin.

Addicted

Addicted
Just one drop,
And then you think you’ll stop.
But that’s not the case.
It comes back and slaps you in the face.
Soon you are addicted,
And you hope you don’t get convicted.
The next step is taken,
And your heart is breaking.
You know it’s not the way to deal,
But it releases all the pain you feel.
Then you try something new,
And you cope that way too.
It doesn’t matter which method you take,
Each is a big mistake.
A bottle or a razor.
Each lethal no matter which one you favor.
A week goes by,
And you no longer cry.
You don’t feel the sharp blade.
You don’t taste the “drink” you made.
Thinking about the stress makes you cut more deep,
Or makes the drink a treat.
No help is around,
And you don’t make a sound.
You may find a new way out,
But you still don’t shout.
You find someone to talk with,
But you suddenly become stiff.
You fear the rejection and even more the pain,
So nothing you say.
You may lay your problems down at the alter,
And you falter.
You wonder where He is,
And how you can overcome this.
You wonder why He is putting you through these tasks
If He knows you sometimes hide behind a mask.
You ask ‘Why me?’
But for some reason you know it has to be.
You feel He has done this to you
And you forget what His Son went through.
Soon you just lose faith in Him,
And you continue to sin.
You don’t know how to back down,
So you ask around.
You reach for the drink or razor one more time,
Didn’t you know it was a crime?

Hidden

Hidden
Maybe I’ve got on a mask;
Did you even ask?
I know you’re my friend;
And we will stay that way even through the end.
Why did you not try to listen to me?
Why did you just let me be?
I thought you would help me out,
But you didn’t answer when I shout.
So I used another way;
And you turned your back today.
I know it isn’t right.
It’s the pain I fight.
There are so many choices to make.
It just makes me shake.
There are so many thoughts running through my head.
And I’m thinking about the words you said.
You were there with me yesterday,
But what about today.
I know you can’t be everywhere,
And I know you really care.
Will you just listen for a while?
Don’t treat me like a child.