Confusion

I know you’re calling me,
But I don’t want to see.
You’re in my life,
But I don’t want to tell you about my strife.
I love you but I don’t want you to know.
I don’t want you to see me fall so just go.
I’m scared to death of losing you.
I’m in this situation and I don’t know what do.
I want to give you my all.
Sometimes I don’t know if you’ll be there if I fall.
You lead me home when I was lost,
And I never figured the cost.
I know in my heart I can’t make it without you in my life.
You taught me to put down the knife.
Some days I long to pick up old habits,
But that’s when I feel you by me where I sit.
God you’re here with me but I can’t see.
Right now I just want to flee.
Some days I regret the decision that I made,
But I know that by making it I am now okay.
I would never have conquered anything if it weren’t for you.
If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t know what to do.
I need your hand to guide me,
I need you to help me again believe.
Please rescue my soul,
Don’t let it go cold!

Help I'm in Jail!

How can you want me to remain in this jail?
No freedom is granted and it feels like hell.
I’m trying to rise above the trials,
But it’s taking me a while.
It feels like no matter what I do I find myself in a bigger hole,
And I feel so cold.
Did He disappear?
Does He know this is what I fear?
I hate being thrown to the ground.
However, when I get up I won’t make a sound.
I try to stand tall but I just fall.
I no longer know who to call.
I can’t handle the pressure that’s building around me.
I can hardly even see.
I don’t know which way to turn,
And my heart just burns.
God if you’re there take my hand,
And help me to stand.
If I’m your child hold me close to you,
Show me what to do.
I can’t make it through on my own.
I can’t even make it to calling a friend on the phone.
Don’t let me down,
Please show me you’re around.
I can’t handle another lie,
I just might die.
I can’t handle the stress,
So I must confess:
I need you in my life.
I need you to help me during my strife.
I’ve been hurt so many ways I can’t explain,
But each one left a horrible stain.
You are the only one who can rescue me,
Will you help me?

Life

Some times we think life is hard,
So we refuse to play our cards.
God is showing us the next move.
God is telling us what to do.
We're so scared to let go.
We're scared to let the pain show.
Our face is covered with a mask.
We think God has given us to hard of a task.
He never leaves our life,
Even wen we go through a strife.
He's there right beside us.
He's just waiting for our trust.
We throw our troubles into His face,
Because we don't win the race.
Take it slow,
And go with the flow.
God has you in the palm of his hands.
He is your biggest fan.
Don't blame Him for the pain.
Cry out to Him in the rain.

His Hand

So scared I can't breathe,
So tired I can't see.
So paralyzed I can't move,
So confused I don't know what to do.
God I need your hand.
There's a lot of things I don't understand.
So many things are going wrong,
I don't know how to stay strong.
I can't hear you whisper in the wind,
But I know you're there through the end.
Let me hear you one more time.
Tell me again it will be fine.
Show me your love again and again,
Even though I sin.
Let me see you one day face to face,
And tell me I'm not a disgrace.
Hold me in your arms,
And protect me from any harm.
Show me again and again you're always there.
Remind me just how much you truly care.

HIndering Burdens

I've tried so many times to lay my burdens down,
But for some reason they keep coming back around.
I'm constantly reminded of my sin,
And I don't want to go back again.
I know God is there,
So why am I so scared?
I can't feel Him around anymore.
It feels like I'm running into locked doors.
The windows are shut and there's no way out.
I can't figure out what my life's about.
It feels as though I'm running out of time,
And I'm being reminded of every crime.
He forgives and forgets,
So why must we regret?
Human nature makes us want to be who we're not,
And only cry out to Him when we're caught.
Sometimes we focus to much on the bad,
And don't praise Him when we're glad.
Give Him your life,
And He will help you overcome your strife.
This seems so hard when you're in the dark and lost.
However, He gave His son at all costs.

Help Me

It feels like my world is falling apart,
So where do I start?
I never got to say good-bye,
And I hardly even cried.
What is wrong with me?
Is there something I can’t see?
It’s like I’m lost and blind,
God please send me a sign.
You’re in my life,
But sometimes I can’t find you amongst my strife.
When I fall flat on my face,
You pick me up and put me back in place.
Never once did you turn your back.
Sometimes I wonder how you could cut me so much slack.
I was angry because you never let me say good-bye.
I’d cry out to you and receive no sign.
It felt like I was Job going through some of the same trials.
It felt like I was walking mile upon mile.
I tried to keep my eyes on you.
Now I’m scared and I don’t know what to do.
I’m riding the waves,
But I feel like a chained slave.
You walk with me everyday,
So why can’t I believe everything will be okay?
I’ve trusted you with my life,
I put down the knife.
I cry out to you when something’s wrong.
I can’t handle life I’m not that strong.
God I’m scared,
And I know you’re there.
I need you to be with me,
And show me who you want me to be.
It feels like I’m running in the same spot.
Nothing changes, and I’m caught.
Saying good-bye would it change how I feel?
God it’s so hard to deal.
I’ve lost people I love,
And I don’t know if they’re in the heavens above.
Will I ever see them again?
What about my friend?
He was so young he didn’t get to really live.
God he was only a kid.
I was angry when he didn’t make it through,
I didn’t know what to do.
Praying for him to late,
What was his fate?
He is your child God, and my friend.
How can you let his life end?
To my grandpa I never said goodbye,
However I did cry.
The tears do nothing for me,
They just mess up my ability to see.
There’s so much stress,
God I just want to rest.
Give me a little break,
My hands are starting to shake.
God I need you,
I don’t know what to do.
Please help me,
It’s getting hard to believe.

Looking in the mirror!

When I look in the mirror what do I see
Is it really truly me?
I can see my eyes,
I can also see past my own disguise.
I can see my face,
And I know my own disgrace.
I can see my hair,
And the scars I can’t bare.
When God looks at me what does He see?
He sees the true me.
He knows my faults and mistakes,
And He sees me when I shake.
He knows my heart inside and out.
He smiles when it is to Him I shout.
He says I am his beautiful daughter,
Because he is my Father.
He recognizes each tear that rolls out of my eyes.
He is the One who taught me how to fly.
How hard it is to see what God sees.
With the ways of the world I don’t see me.
I’m ashamed of how I look and sometimes who I am.
I trust in the world and His light seems to shine dim.
He has carried me through it all,
For He catches me every time I fall.
When I look in the mirror what do I see?
Is it the person God created me to be?

Show Me

Show me who I am these are the quiet words I pray.
Show me how to live for you day by day.
Right now the world has me wrapped around,
Its muffled my voice so I can’t make a sound.
I can barely hear your whispers in the wind.
I don’t understand why my broken heart won’t mend.
I know you’re the greatest doctor of all.
You help people up when they fall.
But what if they fell deep into the pits,
All because of a step they missed?
How could you bring them back?
They turned their back on you and fell into the cracks.
Would you love them just the same?
What if to you they never again came?
They tore you down and broke your heart.
So how can you let them go back to the start?
You’re a loving God who loves us all.
But what about when we fall.
It must hurt you terribly inside,
To watch your own children die.
You gave us a way to come back to you,
And you told us what to do.
Sometimes it’s hard to find out Your dreams,
Because we’re surrounded by life’s beams.
I need to know how to go on,
Just help me make it from dusk to dawn.

Hiding From YOU

I’m hiding from you and don’t know why,
I’m doing things that make you cry.
I’ve lost sense of your presence,
And my life is now dense.
I shouldn’t have left you side.
Now all I want to do is hide.
You know where I’m at all the time,
Even when I’m committing a crime.
I should call out to you during all times of the day.
For some reason I don’t know if that’s okay.
I come to you about my troubles,
And sometimes they double.
I know that you will help me through them all,
But sometimes I refuse to call.
I don’t want to burden you with my pain
So I just keep it in my heart and it begins to stain.
The pain slowly seeps through,
And that’s when I don’t know what to do.
I turn my back so you won’t see me suffering.
I know now that makes your heart sting.
You called me home so many times.
You held out your hands and said everything will turn out fine.
I don’t know if I can understand that right now,
Because I’m lost in a crowd.
I’m lost in the world and can’t find a way out.
I find I don’t cling onto you and shout.
I hold on to my own strength and it doesn’t get me anywhere,
And sometimes I no longer care.
I don’t want you to know where I am,
Because I am caught up in sin.
I can’t make it anymore,
I have to open another door.
All of the doors are locked,
And I’m being mocked.
You’re the only way out,
It’s now when I shout.
Why do I wait so until I’m so far down?
Why do I wait until I’m bound?
I know you’re the only way
And by your side I want to stay.
The world pulls me down,
And when I realize that I don’t make a sound.
I figure I could do it without you
But without you I don’t know what to do.
I have to keep looking to the sky,
Because you’re the one who’ll help me fly.

The Talk

I need to talk to you about what’s going on.
I’m dealing with things all wrong.
I can’t seem to talk about what’s bothering me,
And I need you to see.
You were there once before.
Now it’s going on again & I haven’t knocked on your door.
I long to tell you how I feel,
But the pain is just to real.
I’m afraid of the changes that might occur,
Therefore I don’t say a word.
I know what will happen if I don’t stop,
And this is the habit I need you to help me drop.
I don’t want to hold it all in.
I definitely don’t want the devil to win.
It’s just so hard,
And God seems so far.
I try to search through my bible,
But it’s just feels like I’m going through trial after trial.
I no longer know what to say
When you ask me if everything is okay.
I know you’re there for me.
Sometimes it’s just hard to see.
I need you to help me overcome this.
So that once again I might be filled with bliss.

Call out to Him

How can you stay on the straight path,
When your pain is hidden behind a mask?
You try so hard to stay true,
But when temptation comes you don’t know what to do.
Your prayers seem unheard,
So sometimes you wonder why you even say a word.
The hard times almost kill your soul,
And the pain is getting so old.
You call out but it seems no one can hear,
And this is what you fear.
God is there,
You know he cares.
Sometimes you fall through the cracks,
And you feel there is no turning back.
He is holding out His hand,
He will pull you out of the quicksand.
You know He will be there when you call,
But sometimes you don’t want Him to pick you up when you fall.
You don’t want Him to see where you are,
Because you have traveled away so far.
You just want to let go of all the pain,
But that means it will rain.
Sometimes we hold on to our pride,
And put Jesus on the side.
Call back to Him,
For He is the only one who can take away the pain and sin.

Trusting God

God knows how to help me through.
I just have to ask Him what to do.
All of my problems, fear and pain,
He can take it them away all the same.
If I give Him everything I know,
His love will show.
If lay everything down,
My heart will be bound.
If give myself away,
He tells me everything will be okay.
I know He will guide me though my whole life,
And with Him I can walk through any strife.
I have to count on Him,
Because He’s the only one who can take away my sin.
If I mess up He takes me back.
He doesn’t hang me on a rack.
I need to know I can trust His love,
And I know I can because He created the heavens above.
No matter how hard life seems,
He is continuously watching over me.
He holds my hand when I’m scared,
He’s always there.
He dries my tears when I cry,
And teaches me how to fly.
If I give God everything I’ve got,
He gives me another shot.
It doesn’t matter how many times it takes,
He forgives my mistakes.
I can always run back to my Father
Because He created me as His daughter.

MY-SPACE

You act like nothing can go wrong.
So I try to remain strong.
I know it hurts when I walk away,
But please know that I am okay.
Don’t call me back into your arms right now.
I need to go somewhere where there is no sound.
I need some space to call my own.
Somewhere I can throw away the bad stones.
I know you want to keep me by your side.
But right now I just need my time.
Don’t be mad because I leave,
Have faith in me.
I will be back one day.
In the meantime I’ll let you know that I’m okay.
I need to find a place where I can make my own choice.
I need to find a place where I can hear my own voice.
You have already made so many decisions for me.
Why can’t you just let me be?
I want to make my own mistakes.
One day I will look back and say it was a piece of cake.
I know you’re standing right there,
And I know that you care.
Don’t worry about how things will turn out.
God is there and He’s what it is all about.
I want to be able to live my own life.
Don’t put me through any unnecessary strife.
Let me grow into the person you raised me to be.
Let me grow to show everyone the real me.
I’m not a child any longer,
And my heart has grown stronger.
I can handle the things that come my way.
Just let me go; I promise to come back someday.

So Many Choices

I have so many choices to make.
And if I choose the wrong one I feel like a fake.
I now have to make up my mind.
I just want a little more time.
I know it is better to be two steps forward,
But it feels like I’m being strangled with a cord.
I just want to live today.
Tomorrow will work out okay.
I’m tired of being ahead,
But not a word have I said.
Choices are made for me,
Some of them I never get the chance to see.
I am always thrown around,
And feel like I’m continuously bound.
I try to take it one step at a time,
Meanwhile a thousand other things get thrown in my mind.
I thought I had a plan,
But it seems as though I’ve written it in the sand.
My dreams are becoming nightmares.
And my life is just so bare.
I want to make my own life,
To be haggard by my own strife.
I know they want the best of me,
But I just want to be free.
I know I have to become an adult,
But I just want to find my own faults.
I can’t learn from everyone else’s mistakes.
My life isn’t going to be a piece of cake.
I want to use my own mind,
I’ll show them what I find.
Life isn’t like Burger King; you can’t have it your way.
But to some it just doesn’t seem okay.
I just want to be a kid,
Let me tell them what I did.

Trapped

So many tears have I cried.

So many times I wished I could have died.

You look in my eyes all the time.

Can’t you tell that I’m not fine?

I wish you would let me talk,

Because I’m getting ready to walk.

I’m getting ready to leave,

Because you don’t want to believe.

I can make my own choice.

But for some reason you don’t hear my voice.

I’m screaming for a way out.

I’ve wanted to run away so many times I can hardly keep count.

I don’t want to go,

But I’ve got to let you know.

I want to live my life

But you’re holding me down with a knife.

I need to be me.

Can’t you see?

I feel like a robot.

Trapped always in the same spot.

Can’t you let me spread my wings and fly?

If not, then why do you cry?

I am practically your slave.

And you’ve trapped me in a maze.

Just free me now

Before I lay my burdens down.

My Bunny

I remember before you left home I gave you my bunny.
You still have it and I think its kind of funny.
I know that may sound weird,
But I believed you didn’t care.
I know you still have it propped on you bed.
It sleeps right there by your head.
Why didn’t you get ride of that silly thing?
Seeing it makes my heart sting.
It smells like you now.
If you gave it back I would have a cow.
I placed it in your suitcase before you went away.
I hope that was okay.
I told him to take good care of you.
I didn’t know what else to do.
You were leaving and never coming back.
I never believed you would do that.
I know you have more important things on your mind.
I just can’t believe you took the time.
Sometimes you would call home,
And I didn’t want to get off of the phone.
I was you little baby girl.
Your only one in the whole world.
You finally came back one day,
But you never really stayed.
You moved far away from the house.
My mom was no longer your spouse.
When you were gone you found someone new.
I guess you do what you have to do.
I just don’t know why you kept my bunny.
Isn’t life just funny?

CROSS-ROADS

I have some decisions to make,
And I don’t know which road to take.
I’ve called out to God and asked Him what to do.
For some reason I’m not getting a clue.
Missionary work or family?
I wish He would help me see.
I know what I want to accomplish,
But I know there is something I have missed.
I have to go home.
For some reason this is what my heart knows.
God has my life.
So why am I going through this strife?
My friends are awaiting my reply.
My only question is will I cry?
I have been preparing for many weeks.
Is it that my heart is too weak?
I don’t know why I can’t go.
Maybe it’s for reasons my heart doesn’t know.
I need God to answer me this time.
Is it time for my heart to fly?

Away From Home

I’m so far away from home.
I don’t know which way to go.
I’M lost without a clue.
I don’t know what to do.
I call out but no one can hear.
The end is near.
Soon I will be home again.
Soon I’ll see my best friends.
But there are things I have to do
So don’t cry boo-Hoo!!
I’ll be back again someday
Just remember I am okay.
He called me to do some things.
So right now my life song sings.
I’m scared of how my life will change.
I know that sounds deranged.
But I’m lifting up my hands to the sky
In the hopes that He will help me fly.

Please Let Me

Let me have one more day.
I promise I’ll try to make everything okay.
Let me tell you I love you one more time.
I promise I’ll be fine.
Let me see your face again.
I promise to stand by you through the end.
Let me hold your hand.
I promise to be as strong as I can.
Let me know you still are there.
I promise to tell you how much I care.
Let me see you as I sleep.
I promise I won’t weep.
Let me have one more hour.
I promise my heart won’t be sour.
Let me hear one more song.
I promise to stay strong.
Let me know you’re okay.
I promise not to keep my feelings tucked away.
Let me hear your voice one more time.
I promise I won’t cry.
I need to see you one more day.
Then I will be okay.

Questions you often ask.

How do you know when to choose a friend over another?
Is it some kind of instinct like being a mother?
There is a fight that broke out between your friends.
So how do you know what road of friendship ends?
You want to talk for there are things on your mind.
But lately you can’t find the time.
You don’t know weather you’re right or wrong
So how do you know if for you there is a special song.
You try to cope on your own
But you know that is not the way a heart gets sewn.
You have so many things to say
But everything else gets in the way.
Wanting to talk about more than one thing
You no longer care to sing.
Wanting to speak what’s on your mind
But telling everyone that everything’s fine.
You try to hide from people you know
Because if they found out some stuff they would blow.
You’re scared half to death,
And your life seems like a mess.
You think about your friends
And sometimes wonder why your life won’t end.
Knowing you have to stay
Is now starting to become okay.
Some days are filled with hate
And others you are used as bait.
Some days are filled with love
And you know that comes from the heavens above.
There is someone special in your life
Who seems to take away most of your strife.
You need to learn to spread your wings and fly
So go ahead and tell those you love not to cry.
It is time for you to live your life
Without using a knife.
Just dream and believe.
Soon enough you will achieve.
Don’t listen to what everyone is saying.
Just follow your dreams they are waiting.

I say I don’t have a dad.
Is he really that bad?
What if I give him the time of day?
Would everything turn out okay?
The bible says to honor your mother and father.
But what if he does not acknowledge his daughter?
Love your enemies as well.
Isn’t life swell?
How do you expect me to love them when they hurt me?
Why can’t I just let them be?

He's There

He’s There!
Wings help you fly,
But eyes can help you cry.
This pain will eventually go away.
You just have to pray everyday.
You have to believe
Then someday your heart will find relief.
He seems so far gone,
But you have to keep singing your life song.
The days that go by feel like dreams,
And you ask yourself ‘What does this mean?’
Life seems to be becoming so hard,
It feels as though you’re trapped and barred.
You can hardly fly,
So sometimes you just wish you could die.
Just hang in there,
Somebody near you really cares.
Try to pull through one more day,
You may realize everything will be okay.
You can call on Him at any time,
He is able to make everything fine.
There are people in your life that are there to help you out,
You just need to shout.
Call on your best friend,
Don’t let your life end.
Somehow He will see you through,
But you have the choice to choose.
Get some help right now,
Before you put your life down.
Call on someone you love today,
And tell them you’re not okay.
You don’t have to say many words,
Just tell them that you hurt.
Go ahead, you have someone there,
And one day you will realize how much He really cares.

Coping

Coping
Cutting the pain away,
Not knowing the words to say.
I can’t tell you what’s wrong with me.
I just want to be free.
So tired of the pain
It’s driving me insane.
Rocking away the tears
They’ve been here all these years.
I can tell you that they’re full of hate.
I don’t want to take that with me when I meet my fate.
There is something I need to do
But how do I choose?
Talking away the pain
But everything feels the same.
It helped me some,
But I know I’m not done.
There are more thing I have to do
But I just don’t know how to.
I need to be strong,
So that the pain won’t stay long.

The Last Dance

The Last Dance!
Should I give him another chance?
Should I allow him the last dance?
He let me down so many times before,
Especially after he walked out of the door.
I disowned him so many times.
Our relationship isn’t fine.
I hate the way he treated me.
He wouldn’t let me be.
I gave him another try,
But in the end I just cried.
I began not to trust him.
I didn’t care if he was kin.
Should I give him another chance?
Should I allow him the last dance?
I tried not to get involved,
But the problems were to hard to solve.
I asked Jesus to help me out,
And to tell me what my life was about.
I gave Him my life,
And He walked me through many strife.
I told Him I was in trouble,
And He was there on the double.
The bible says He is my Dad,
Then why do I feel so bad.
Should I give him another chance?
Should I allow him the last dance?
He helped bring me into this world,
But some days it makes me want to hurl.
How can I forgive him for how he made me feel?
The pain is so real.
How can I pull through?
What will I do?
Will I allow him another chance?
Will he be the one who has the last dance?

So Far Gone

There’s so much going on
My thoughts are so far gone.
I’m sitting here in the middle of class,
I don’t understand and I’m not going to ask.
People aren’t who they say
And nothing turns out okay.
Why do I wear a mask?
Why don’t I answer the questions my friends ask?
So many thoughts running through my head.
I’m so far gone; I wish I was dead.
Your friends tell you they’ll be there,
But when you talk they don’t seem to care.
People hide behind a wall,
And they’re never there when you call.
I cry out in the middle of the night,
And there’s not a friend in sight.
My friends don’t see how far gone I am.
Maybe it’s because I got caught up in sin.

Addicted

Addicted
Just one drop,
And then you think you’ll stop.
But that’s not the case.
It comes back and slaps you in the face.
Soon you are addicted,
And you hope you don’t get convicted.
The next step is taken,
And your heart is breaking.
You know it’s not the way to deal,
But it releases all the pain you feel.
Then you try something new,
And you cope that way too.
It doesn’t matter which method you take,
Each is a big mistake.
A bottle or a razor.
Each lethal no matter which one you favor.
A week goes by,
And you no longer cry.
You don’t feel the sharp blade.
You don’t taste the “drink” you made.
Thinking about the stress makes you cut more deep,
Or makes the drink a treat.
No help is around,
And you don’t make a sound.
You may find a new way out,
But you still don’t shout.
You find someone to talk with,
But you suddenly become stiff.
You fear the rejection and even more the pain,
So nothing you say.
You may lay your problems down at the alter,
And you falter.
You wonder where He is,
And how you can overcome this.
You wonder why He is putting you through these tasks
If He knows you sometimes hide behind a mask.
You ask ‘Why me?’
But for some reason you know it has to be.
You feel He has done this to you
And you forget what His Son went through.
Soon you just lose faith in Him,
And you continue to sin.
You don’t know how to back down,
So you ask around.
You reach for the drink or razor one more time,
Didn’t you know it was a crime?

Hidden

Hidden
Maybe I’ve got on a mask;
Did you even ask?
I know you’re my friend;
And we will stay that way even through the end.
Why did you not try to listen to me?
Why did you just let me be?
I thought you would help me out,
But you didn’t answer when I shout.
So I used another way;
And you turned your back today.
I know it isn’t right.
It’s the pain I fight.
There are so many choices to make.
It just makes me shake.
There are so many thoughts running through my head.
And I’m thinking about the words you said.
You were there with me yesterday,
But what about today.
I know you can’t be everywhere,
And I know you really care.
Will you just listen for a while?
Don’t treat me like a child.